Croissant, baguette, Gerard Depardieu...

FRANCE!

Internet has been impossible to find, despite the guide book saying that "internet cafes abound in Paris". Fuckers. I'm on a French keyboard and everything is different so if there are any typing errors, I apologise.

Ok. So we finished up in London, so long, farewell, bye bye. Train to Luton airport, roughly a two hour trip, according to the lady at the train station. We settled in with our books and some food - we stocked up on creamed rice and yoghurt for the journey; and got extra to take with us to France (it was so cheap, we figured it would be a good way to save money). We almost didn't make it though. Jes cleverly thought to look up from her book just as we pulled into the station, saying "Er, I think we should get off here". I don't know how long we would have travelled for before thinking maybe we had gone too far, or where we would have ended up, but we got lucky. In fact, that was the start of the lucky day!

At the airport we saw the fat guy who was in Sliders, that was pretty lucky. Then we decided to spend all our coins on sandwiches, and they equalled 5 pounds, and combined Jes and I had 5 pounds and 2 pence. Lucky lucky. Our luck ran out a bit when, because of the laws about liquid in carry-on luggage, they made us eat all the yoghurt and creamed rice. Jes and I are sitting on the designated "eating bench", drinking yoghurts straight from the tub cos we had no spoons, and then we had to skull our waters, and this nice German man was laughing at us and encouraging us to keep drinking. Tummies did not feel so good after that. The flight was 55 minutes, which is less time than it takes me to drive to Trent's house, and that was a bit fucked.

The hostel is dirty and gross, and Jes and I had to have a beer the second we arrived, and we both promised each other we'd save 5 euro for a bedtime beer each day, just so we can sleep more soundly. Paris is so expensive, too, it's getting us down a bit. We got kebabs last night and it cost us about 800 Australian dollars, and we didn't even get that many chips. Oh well. We have breakfast under the Eiffell Tower some mornings, and we've been to Notre Dame and Sacre Couer and the Arc de Triumphe and along the Champs Elysses with all the rich leathered women and their pooches in Louis Vuitton carrier bags. We went to the gay pride festival that was on, Jes' 88 year old great aunt who we met suggested we go, and it was hilarious and lovely, all utopia-esque with little lezzies and their little IVF babies running around. Jes and I wandered a bit further and decided to stop and have a drink before heading for the hostel which was like a 3 hour walk away. The bar lady made us a Mojito and a Margarita, and they were so so so strong, we literally had a sip and fell over drunk. I'm not even exaggerating. We didn't finish them, and went home to make pasta, but not before weeing in a park because the toilets was broke.

OH! There's more stuff but internet is over now and this keyboard has fried my brain. Today: Louvre and cemetary.

xd