Berlin to Prague...

So Prague is really old and cool.

We got the train here from Berlin on Thursday, took about 5 hours. I was up late playing cards with some Canadians at our hostel, so didn't get to bed til late, and slept in my clothes, and then got up early to check out, and didn't shower, and didn't change, and then got on the train hungry and greasy and still feeling gross in the tummy. It was a pretty smelly journey, overall. There was a little kid on the train who had a Happy Meal AND a McChicken, and it looked so good. We sat there plotting how to kill him and eat him and wondered whether he would taste like McChicken too.

Given the tiredness on the train, we were pretty grumpy when we got to Prague. The whole place smelled like sausages and boiled potatoes. We got to an ATM to take out some Krona, and could only get 1000czK notes, but when we tried to buy train tickets to get to our hostel, no-one would accept them! We actually argued with the lady at the ticket booth, and then figured maybe we could swap it at a shop for some Mars Bars or cigarettes or something. Not a chance. I was tempted to just buy 700 croissants and take the change, just so we could get on the goddamn train! We tried swapping it at all the money exchange offices, the workers there barely pausing long enough to put down their own cigarettes before rudely shaking their heads at us. Then Jes had a brainwave, and that was to swap my last 4 Euro into Krona, and we JUST had enough for train tickets. So we ran back to the booth and this CRAZY little lady no taller than a hobbit, all dressed in black with gnarled features and grey hair - a witch, really, she was a witch - tried to push in front of us. So Jes kinda stepped in front of her. So she pushed in front of the guy behind us. It was so weird. She just saw a line and decided to join it halfway. Crazy Czechs. The whole country has basically been like that, just rude people shoving you and not apologising, so I've just started shoving straight back. There's no point trying to be friendly, it's totally not on the radar. Last night a man on the street asked us if we wanted to buy weed, cocaine or hash (our choice) from him, but we decided against it, even though it was like midnight and he didn't look shady at all with his hood up and no teeth. We were also wary, as someone left a note on the pin board at the hostel saying "Don't buy off the streets - I paid 800 Krona for 4 breath mints!!!!". Blackmarket breath mints are clearly a big problem here.

The hostel is ... well. It's not bad. It just needs a better communal area, and a policy of not allowing crazy Scottish men to stay there, especially if they're old. We just checked in and this dude in our room, no younger than 45, started talking to us about stuff, and I honest to God could not understand a word he was saying. We just nodded and smiled and said a few things about buying dinner and then ran away.

And then dinner. Hoo boy. We decided we wanted to cook our own food. Which was fine, there were supermarkets and the hostel had a kitchen. We went to a Tesco Express (yes, they're here too!) to scope out the situation. Apart from everything costing a lot, it was all in Czech. We tried to buy butter - we had to peel OPEN the butter and nibble at it to make sure it was butter! It wasn't, so we closed it and shoved it right up the back. And then we wanted pesto. Jes chased a man through the supermarket shaking a jar of green watery puree at him, but he didn't know what it was and said it should definitely not go on pasta. Ok. So then we decided to get cous cous. Cous cous, fetta, mushrooms, cheese, olives and sundried tomatoes. All mixed in together, amazing. We rush back to the hostel, cut everything up, boil the water, add the cous cous... except it's not cous cous. It might have been semolina, or Durham wheat, but was most probably some kind of porridge, and it was so thick that it was hard to stir, so we kept adding water and it just got more and more porridge-y. We ate it anyway, and it was pretty good, just needed some salt and some more cheese and it would've been ok. But I wouldn't really recommend it to anyone - porridge and sundried tomatoes are not meant to go together.

Scottish man was still there the next morning though. And that night. He came in (I think it was him, maybe it was the other Scottish man - there were 3 of them!) with a torch on his head and started getting ready for bed. Anyway, the next morning, he woke me up at like 8 or something to talk about the French Riviera, and how it differs from the Italian Riviera, and so I started trying to read my book and ignore him, and he just wouldn't stop talking! I kept thinking I'd managed to squash him with a final-sounding "Haha, oh well. Next time maybe", and there'd be silence for a few seconds, and then he'd start over. Gaah! Don't wake me up early to talk about boring stuff! Don't wake me up at all! And then Jes went to the bathroom and left me all alone. I thought I was going to die, just lying there with this old Scottish man peering down on me from above, standing right next to my bed.

Tummy is still feeling very unusual. I don't know, this morning we had baked beans and fibre crackers, and we got more fibre crackers to snack on, and we're having veggies for dinner. I feel like maybe I have a tapeworm or a baby or something inside me, or an alien. The tapeworm is maybe a possibility, seeing as the chicken I ate in Berlin might actually have been pieces of old shoe, and then the goat at the zoo ate from my hand and I bit my nails without washing them, meaning I basically ate goat spit. It's like I'm carrying a bag on my front, my tummy is actually HEAVY and solid. But look, it's better today, and I don't think you all need to know any more or hear any more about my digestion, I'm sure you've had enough. By the time I'm home, it'll be allllll good.

Yesterday we spent a full day wandering around. We started off at Bethlehem Church, which we climbed to the top of, and got the most stunning views of the city. I have photos but this computer is not happy with me so refuses to help me upload them. I'll do it soon.

Then we went to the Astronomical clock, which is like a lunar clock. Every hour it does a little show, and it was possibly the most piss weak thing I have ever seen. Death rings a little bell, and then the apostles jerk around, and then a crow makes a noise like a raspberry being blown, and it's over in about 40 seconds. Everyone was so excited, this massive crowd. It was really embarrassing.

Then we headed over into the older part of town, up near the castle, and checkout out some old bridges and went to some cool shops. This one shop was like this ace little boutique of clothes and toys made by architecture and design students at the local university. Really great stuff. This morning was markets, and an attempt to see the Old Jewish Cemetary, but it's the Sabbath so it's all closed up. Tonight we're going to go out and try to meet some normal-aged people, and we have a few little plans for the next couple of days, but overall just want to wander and keep getting lost in the little streets, which we are experts at doing by the way.

We went and saw The Incredible Hulk last night ... wow. WOW. GO AND SEE IT. So good. Hulk Smash!!

Can't believe I'm home in a week. Leaving here Wednesday, flying to London, chilling with Beth and George for the night, then on to Tokyo via Finland, and then MELBN!